Monday, December 29, 2008

Serious Topic

Most of my friends and some others know I suffer with severe depression and anxiety on a daily basis.
At the moment I am in a really low and dark place in my mind and am fighting to get out of it. Last night I was ready to leave all my groups, delete my facebook, my blogs etc. I just wanted to drop out of life for a while, crawl into my closet close the door and just sleep for days on end. However, I do not have the time or the luxury to just stop everything. I have a job I need inorder to pay the bills and support my children, not to mention more car repairs coming up. I just don't have the time to break down right now. Don't get me wrong there are times I wish I was never born then look at my kids and feel so guilty for my self loathing and for everything I ever did growing up and it usually snaps me out of it, however sometimes I just need to let it run its course and allow myself to FEEL the feelings of hate, dispair, self loathing, and everything else that comes to the surface. I am truly sorry to DROP all this into this blog, I usually post things like this to my private blog I use to scream yell swear and just let everything out on, without worrying that I have affended anyone.
I feel this is such an important topic, to many people who suffer daily and I don't want to hide 2009 away and felt I needed to take this moment in 2008 to let others know that I do know the silent pain they may be living with and maybe with the help of each other, we can make 2009 a year where we start to move forward and STOP looking back at our past mistakes and past decissions and look for ways to make our lives more positive and joyful!
If you know anyone who does suffer with depression and/or anxiety, please remind them to take their medication, even ask them part way through the month if it getting close to the time of prescription renewal, believe me, this is a huge help.
Even though I am fully aware I need my medications to function daily, I OFTEN do forget to renew my precriptions monthly as well as forgetting to take them daily.

This is a great site for those who are sure someone close to them may be depressed or if you think you may suffer from a form of depression


Milly~ said...

I wish you the very best my sweet friend. If you want to talk just let me know. Love you!

Barbara said...

I can so relate to what you're saying. I've struggled with depression for 40 years. I've managed to function well the past 10 years with only minor flare-ups, but this winter has brought me back down into the pits. Doctor has added another medication in hopes to stop it from getting any worse. I'm hoping.

As for medication refills, my pharmacy offers an automatic refill program & then calls you to let you know your meds are ready to pick up. I LOVE THIS SERVICE!

I hope you are feeling better.

Many Hugs,
Barb in TX