Thursday, January 27, 2011

Downward Dipping

so, today I woke up to a call from the intake nurse and now after answering a number of questions I am now waiting for another to call me with an appointment time to start the shrink portion of this journey.  I then spoke to a life coach it was suppose to be a half hour free session and it turned out to be an hour and she was wonderful she sent me some more tools to help me and I will look into them tomorrow. 
Then I took a nap and then everything went down hill from there.  I went and took out the last $18.00 from my bank so I could pick up a couple things to make dinners and some bread for Joe's lunches and came home feeling like hell I could feel the downward spiral starting all over again.  I went for a walk, I ate, I had a couple brownies and of course some diet coke LOL go big or go home as they say.  I had a nice talk with Steve, he will be here for a couple days the end of April and then moving out here hopefully not too long afterwards.
I haven't mentioned him in my blog as yet.  He is a guy from my highschool days.  We had economics together and would often skip class together... my boyfriend didn't know and no one else did either.  He is 2 years older than I am and I was so into him!  He was your typical rocker stoner type guy every girl with tight levi jeans, t-shirts and jean jackets went for.  He was smart and so smooth we had an affair for a year until his father who was a policeman was moved from my grandparents neighbourhood and I lost touch with him.  Until our school had a reunion a in 2005 or 6 and he contacted me.  He was married, a teacher and living out west and couldn't make it out here, but there was a guest book you could sign with your email and I did and he contacted me.  I was happy (mostly well kind of) that he was happily married lol and had a son I knew he would be an amazing father he loves the outdoors and actually was an environmental studies major in university.  I didn't hear from him again until a year ago he was now divorced and thinking of moving back but was here visiting friends he called but I was scared so I didn't contact him until the last minute and we had 1 amazing morning of amazing conversations about everything under the sun slept and then he drove me home a total gentleman.  Except for the kissing wow!  We do have an agreement about getting together when he comes in April to bring his son to see his sister for Easter and we will spend a day or 2 together but we are both healing from life and are not planning on becoming attached but are just going to enjoy each others company and do some hiking and camping and have awesome long conversations.  He is so interesting and we have awesome conversations for hours and hours on the phone and sometimes it scares me that I understand what he is saying LOL

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