Saturday, March 05, 2011

horrible feelings

The past 2 days I have wanted so badly to just fall off the edge of the world.
I have pissed off and upset both my best friends Faith and Eva. 
I wish I was floating and feeling nothing ever again. 
If I didn't have family I would allow myself to give in to the feelings of wanting to be dead.
I am too much drama for everyone including myself and I don't know what to do about it. 
I feel like I am drowning in my own tears, fears and bull shit.
I am thinking maybe I should show my blog to my doctors.  When I see them I am usually calm and well my blog is far from it these days.  I am feeling like I should maybe be committed. 
I have so much self loathing and emptiness and anger and fear and ....


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think you should tell your doctors everything you are feeling, whether you are feeling them at the appointment or not. Are you on medication? Perhaps it needs to be changed or adjusted.