Saturday, December 18, 2010

Memories

Wrapping my head around having to work this Yule and having Christmas off and spending it in a house with around 20 or so people that are all family.  Now in the land of 'NORMAL' this would not be an issue, but in the land of severe manic depressive plus social anxiety it is like having over a hundred people in a 10 X 10 room. 
This is the first year of no grandparents and I am missing all of mine a lot.  I was shopping with Faith and we were looking at all the different cheeses and it hit me, we won't be getting our cheese this year.  My Nanny and Poppa (Dad's parents) gave us cheese as part of our gift.  I got so sad then I started thinking of all the Christmas we never got to have with my Mom's Dad he passed when I was 5 or 6 yrs old and I know he would have loved seeing us all each year we grew up. I miss my Grandmother sleeping over in Susan's bed and being there with us for all the Christmas' that I can remember.  I remember I bought her creamed corn for her stocking one year LOL. There are so many memories with my sisters and my cousins, my Aunts and Uncles.  Nanny's sugar cookies with the wild icing and silver balls you weren't suppose to eat lol  I loved Christmas' as a child.  OH and the Icelandic Prune cake not sure who made it but surprising it was awesomely good!  I think one of Mom's family members in Winnipeg sent it to Grandma, but that could be wrong.  I use to be the 1st or 2nd to be awake, a toss up between me and my Dad lol Nanny always made us pj's every year that usually matched and we opened them after Christmas eve church services then went to bed after Dad set up the camera on the tripod so Santa could take pictures of the tree after he put the presents and stockings under the tree!  We were surprised every single year!  I wonder if Sandy remembers the year we were so sure our parents were Santa and we were in our room and HEARD the sound of sleigh bells!!  We dove under the covers and went right to sleep we didn't want him to miss our house!! Oh the memories I have are wonderful and what every child should have, we were so lucky.  I hope I have given my boys memories that were that wonderful!
So I will go there on the 25th with my meager gifts and my broccoli and both my son's and a camera with extra batteries and try to remember to take pictures of everyone and each family and my parents with all the grands and great grand kids, it sounds like another year of good memories.

2 comments:

Dark Mother said...

Such warm memories of your childhood. I remember how different the holidays were when I was kid. During my twenties it all started changing but now that we all have our own kids we're starting our own tranditions and I'm loving that too.

As an aside, I have soft bipolar (cyclothymia) and depending on my mood, being around a lot of people is either really really good or really really bad....today is our family party and luckily I'm in a social mood. I hope the same for you.

Witch of Stitches said...

Lovely memories. Hang in there and just keep telling yourself that gathering with your family is good for you... and healing - because from your memories, it sounds very loving. Your grandparents are always with you - as, I'm sure you know. Hold on to all the wonderful memories and love. XO

PS: Love the creamed corn for your grandmother's stocking - funny and adorable!