Lately while doing my meditation studies I have been seeing the colours red, black and white and those colours make me think of my Nanny. With her white hair and blouse and her red vest and black skirts. It is funny when both my Nanny and Poppa were still alive, I use to dream of a green house and a green chair next to a fireplace with a brown leather chair on the other side of the fireplace and I knew my Grandmother and Grandfather were watching over me and that felt safe, and now I since going through what I can only call my 'breakdown' it seems my Nanny is close by and it feels like she is hugging me sometimes and other times just sitting on the side of my bed. These are lovely feelings; I feel the love of my grandparents from both sides sending it out to me and I am forever grateful and wish I knew how to send them love back.
I think my urge for sewing and knitting right now are my connecting with my grandmothers somehow, wow I am actually crying as I write this out lol I am such an old sap! lol
Reading my cousin's blog today and how she dealt with her bickering kids reminded me so much of our Nanny and how much she loved all of us Grand's and the Great Grand's and would have been thrilled to have meet the Great Great Grand's. Thank you Michelle for reminding me of the loving nature of Doris we were so lucky to have had her for as long as we did and to have Poppa even longer was such a wonderful blessing.
I have OFTEN thought about how it would have been to have my Mom's parents see us grow up into the adults we have become, I wish they could have seen us and all our kids, I think they would have enjoyed it a great deal!
To Thomas, Olive, Doris and Frank, I miss each of you so much and for some reason a lot today. May you all keep watching over all of us and sending us the love we sometimes do not think we deserve.
I love you all very much.